10 observations about Hong Kong

1.) A two-week visit left me with the impression that Hong Kong is culturally underweight. You will pass a dozen Swarovskis before you run into a library. This is a hell of an indictment, I'm aware. After all, groups of Hong Kongers dedicated to the appreciation of Wong Kar-wai, Manet and Texas Hold 'em exist side by side. But I a speak primarily of a steadily shrinking monoculture, to wit: Every morning I read the South China Morning Post and watched a bit of TV. I realize these are tenuous windows into the public sphere, but they are what I had to work with. I never saw a movie review in the newspaper that was written on the island, and I never saw people discuss the arts (or have any meaningful political dialogue) on the television. The SCMP likes to run "opinion" pieces from mainland functionaries on how well HK is (well, was) behaving. It's creepy and infantalizing.

2.) A PLA (Chinese) soldier pointed his rifle barrel at my kneecaps when I walked in front of his barracks fence near the Ferris wheel. These guys are not allowed into the general population, and they're twitchy af. Hong Kong is not responsible for them, so it's not like there's anyone to complain to. Hong Kongers are familiar with this sense of helplessness. Only select business executives are permitted to vote. Seven million ordinary folks have no meaningful voice in how anything operates, except at the micro-local level.

3.) People here are stressed out. It's like a bad cologne the city wears. The average living space is 160 feet per square person, and many have it much worse. Spontaneous outbursts of joy are tolerated in the 5-and-under crowd, however.

4.) Broadband speeds are mediocre to pathetic. I was often cursed with download speeds of under 1 mbps in my apartment building, and moving closer to the modem helped only a bit. Maybe it was the caffeine, but Starbucks always seemed to be boosted, though it has a 30-minute limit. I'd harvest other people's codes from receipts THEY THREW IN THE TRASH. One needs to adapt.

5.) Public transportation speeds, however, are almost too good, if that's possible. I used the subway (MRT) for almost all my journeys. You will always overestimate how long it takes to get somewhere.  I would often arrive at my destination 45 minutes before I intended. Even the ferries move with a purpose.

6.) Retail service at sidewalk level is generally fine, but in the dozens and dozens of mega shopping complexes it can be a real shit show. Waiting in line 40 minutes for a bus at HKG was the tell. An Australian tourist behind me blurted: "In Japan there would be ..." I knew the rest, but I set it aside. Little did I know this contrast would sorta define my trip to Hong Kong. I don't want to be catered to; just don't pretend to be something you're not. Japan is the gold standard, but Hong Kong is even sub-European in terms of retail responsiveness. In some shops I detected a bias against non-Chinese; others were overly solicitous. Lots of incompetence and defensiveness. I had to talk to literally six people at Uniqlo to exchange some items, and when I posted a Google review of an upscale bar that documented its employees acting like hooting frat boys, the response was one lie after another, each more audacious than the last. I am happy that you took the "Cicerone" course, but gueuze is not a beer, and you have no idea what you're doing.

7.) Currency exchange booths are more ubiquitous than 7-Elevens. To me that signals that a lot of people in the city do not have bank accounts, or are making remittances home. Some of the booths, like the one at the entrance to the Kam Ma Building where I stayed, are so punishingly small it makes your heart break.

8.) Speaking of money, paying with cash will elicit eye rolls from people in line behind you. Even paying with my phone caused some consternation because store clerks need to know if you're using Apple Pay or Samsung Pay and press a different button for each.

9.) Haven't seen this many pushcarts since Istanbul. Traffic congestion and a lack of parking drive this phenomenon.

10.) Signs that say "subway" indicate a place to cross the street, nothing more.

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